I haven't been blogging for a month now simply because there was nothing really to write about. Everything was going well in my world and I thought the year would end perfectly, with no troubles at all.

Sadly, Saturn in Return kicked into my life and my world was turned upside down. Suddenly, nothing is certain and the future is bleak. In just one night, we were forced to face issues and reflect about who we are and what we want and just like that, it was gone.

As of today, I am celebrating 6 years with A. 6 years if we were still together. Yes, WERE. It has been a week since we broke up. A week since we both believed that we were meant to be. A thought that we knew, believed and felt in our hearts since we got together. We felt that we were so unbelievably lucky to find that special someone who was meant to be THE ONE when so many people in this world continuously search for that one person who was meant for them.

While we still love each other, reality kicks in and upon further reflection, we realize we cannot be. We are very different people. We handle situations and issues differently. We now have different priorities. The love never died but our differences made us grow apart and the more we reflect, the more we realize who we are and what we want. The more we realize how we can never be. And that's what makes the break up so painful.

Today, I was on Facebook and read a note from a "friend" who is going through Saturn in Return as well and is also going through relationship troubles. She posted a poem which she found in Philippine Star. It's called

The Life and Death of Romance

When you no longer feel the need
to be obsessive
compulsive
protective
possessive

When you no longer feel the need
to know every single detail
of how her day went
did it suck, did it make her happy
did she stumble upon anything
interesting

When you no longer feel the need
to talk about trivial things
to talk about serious things
to talk about plans
to talk about hopes and dreams

When you no longer feel the need
to be with her every single minute
of every single day
because you know
she’ll always be there

When you no longer feel the need
to whisper sweet nothings
in her ear
because maybe you’ve done that
a thousand times already

When you no longer feel the need
to tell her that you love her
because you figured
she already knows that

When you no longer feel the need
to show her off to the world
to hold her hand while walking
to give her a reassuring hug
when she looks at you with uncertainty

When your eyes no longer sparkle
at the sight of her
When your lips no longer quiver
when you kiss her
When your heart no longer skips a beat
every time you hold her

When the butterflies in your stomach are no longer there
when you think of the good, old times
When your knees no longer tremble
at the thought of losing her

Last night I cried
I think ours
might have already died.


Some parts, at least for me, are true. I don't know about him though. It was really heartbreaking to read this.

To my dearest, dearest A. I thank God for bringing you into my life. I thank God for the past 6 years. It was amazing and wonderful while it lasted. No regrets...